How I found a treasure - Episode One

ARRRRRRRRRRR, LANDRUBBER!!!

As promised, here is my glorious story! Nearly everything I will tell you is the truth and really happened like this. Listen advertently, and maybe one day you will be as skilful and hard-bitten as me.

You know, once I was as normal as you. You may not be able to imagine it today, but once, I wasn’t even borrrn.

Well yes, you are right, of course I wasn’t born. Don’t be such a clever Dick!

Ages ago I was assembled piece by piece in a country far, far away.

Equipped with a lot of component parts, I was prepared for nearly every situation.

When I was complete, I was perfect. So young and innocent. So true and trustful. I even had two legs, hands and eyes!!! What a luxury. Well, young friend, it shouldn’t stay long this way. But sometimes you have to sacrifice valuable things to get precious ones. Orrr sometimes you simply get sold down the river.

Anyway, to this time the people who build me actually planed to sell me. I was packed like I was a toy and not a pirate with big glory and pride. I can tell you I was angry like never before! But to that time I simply was unversed in fighting, and so I was overwhelmed.

Like all the other robots, poor devils. We were stacked to big cubes and put into the belly of a metal dragon. The dragon  climed into the sky with a big buzzing. It was dark and noisy. I couldn’t see anything, but sometimes I heard the words of the masters of the dragon. They were talking about the flight and about South America. About conquering the world with toys and guns. About money and communism. About Mao and Castro. Strange guys. But I was astonished about I was able to understand everything they said, although I have not been on this planet a long time before. Maybe there was an encyclopaedia in my main processor.

 The flight was smooth and long enduring. I tried to concentrate on finding a way out of my box, but I couldn’t find one. The packages were stacked to close to each other. I did a manual scanning of the wall; I tried to communicate with my mates in the other cages. But no one answered my attempts. Were they all sleeping?

 After many hours, the masters of the dragon spoke again to each other. The young asked the older one if they could avoid a giant thunderstorm that appeared right in front of us.

 The older one abnegated it because we were nearly at our destination point and the dragon was short of fuel. I noticed great apprehensiveness in his voice. Sounded like we would be in trouble soon.

 Abruptly the flight became much bumpier, and I heard storm and thunder all around. Suddenly, there was a big vibration. A bolt has hit the dragon at its weak point.

 The monstrous exploded and rushed down, destination unknown to me. Bad situation, my young friend!

 But fate didn’t fool around with me. While the doomed dragon fell to the ground, its fast turning movements ripped it into parts. Sharpe-edged metal pieces cut my bonds, and I was free like a bird. Thousands of little robots filled the air, but only I was able to escape my paper prison. 

 The emergency program in my main processor told me how to fold an origami propeller out of my operating manual. By rotating my hand, I was able to downsize my fall to a comfortable speed. I was in the air for a long time. The thunderstorm was out of sight. Only the moon watched me flying through the night.

I didn’t know where it would take me. Everything was dark below my feet. I was alone, but not lonely. It was the first time I felt free, and I worried for anything. Everything would be fine.

Well, my young friend, this is it forrr todayyy! I will tell you the rest later on.

Sleep well.

Want to see how Captain made the origami propeller? 

Wake-up call from the past

On Sunday, Paul was surprised the weather was good even in Kiel. So after having a gorgeous cup of coffee he decided this time would be dedicated for taking a nice walk at the Kiel Fjord. But as he took a mechanic step out of the lovely building that had a touch of Hogwarts in its deepest foundations, Paul recognized there was some bulky refuse situated on the opposite side of the Field Road. Snoopy and crazy about antiques like he is, Paul quickly passed the street and took a close look. And he was lucky! There was an old typewriter, model Olympia Monica, handy in its carrying bag, in very good conditions and even ready to work with a print ribbon. With a yell of ecstasy, Paul was catapulted into the clouds by a great fluky jump.

Now there will be no boredom and silence in his room anymore!!! When he returns to Leipzig in a lovely amount of time, he will bestow it upon a nice person, but yet he is not sure to whom.

Anyways, after the day couldn’t get any better, he went to the fjord. The weather was great, and the fresh wind waved trough his air intake filter. There were some ships, many families and couples. Dogs, skaters, and even some people those were almost as snoopy as Paul.

The winter left its footprints in the water, and Paul climbed on the ice floes, jumping from one to another. 

Suddenly he saw something much unexpected: A strange bottle with a postage stamp on and a message in it was floating right besides Paul! His heart began to pump, pearls of excitement-liquid streamed down his face. It was even directly targeted at him! “to Paul” was written in great black letters on it. Could this be a coincidence or was it fate? He felt a strong allurement of this object. He never felt something like that for a bottle in the past before, believe me my friends! 

He had to get this stuff out of the water. Under great efforts, he managed it to pull the heavy bottle out of the water. The bottle was so heavy because it was made from pure crystal and only apparently had some similarities to a modern bottle some of you may know by chance.

The sun was shining through the crystal, water drops rolled off the ancient vessel. The scroll in the inside was yellowed and showed traces of fire, but all in all it seemed to be intact. What message would it abandon? Could it be a treasure map? Why was his name on the bottle? Paul was sure it could contain something of great personal and financial worth for him. He decided it was not save enough to open it right now, he had to return to Hogwarts and wait until everyone was sleeping.

So as the sun had sunk behind the horizon and the wind howled, Paul opened the mysterious bottle. The aroma of smut and rum climbed to Pauls smell sensor. It was a hard work to unravel the crumbly paper out of the tiny bottleneck. Only the candles where watching Pauls travails.

Finally, he did it and enrolled the scroll… and got the shock of his life!!!

“ARRRRRRRRRRR, LANDRUBBER!!! SHAME ON YOU!!! PHEEE!!! I SPIT IN YOUR FACE! WITH YOUR WEAKLY BEHAVIOUR, YOU ASPERSED THE GLORY OF OUR FAMILY!!! STOP CRYING AROUND LIKE A LITTLE CRY-BABY JUST BECAUSE OF LOVE, SON, AND LISTEN TO ME: THE ONLY IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE IS SEARCHING TREASURES! TAKE ME, FOR EXAMPLE: I TRIED MY WHOLE LIFE TO FIND A FAMOUS TREASURE AND I WAS A VALUED AND DREADED ROBOT. WAIT FORRR IT, I WILL CAST THIS SCHABERNACK OUT OF YOUR HEAD, AS SURE AS I AM PAUL THE PIRATE, ARRRRRRRR!!! 
AND THIS IS THE STORY OF HOW I FOUND A TREASURE…”

While the old captain continued his remarks the whole night, Paul listened in polite astonishment and excitement. Maybe this guy was damn right, arrr!

What did the Pirate Captain tell Paul? To be continued…

Saint Valentine's Crap

Today was Saint Valentine’s Day. So Paul decided to confess his love to the Teddy.

But the Teddy was surprised and shocked and felt under pressure. So he decided to shoot Paul. This was the end of Paul’s short life and this blog.

…

Don’t worry, just kidding. Ah c’mon, you didn’t think Paul wouldn’t write anything TODAY, did you?!

In fact, the two pictures above have just been homework for school. It was just played, kids! Calm down.

So what’s up? Paul is in school in Kiel right now. You know he is doing a three-year-training to become a famous photographer. That is why he has to leave lovely Leipzig and visit school from time to time. The school is quite ok, Paul gets food for free and a little bed to sleep. The people are ok as well. Even the lesson is ok; it is a good contrast to Pauls work.

The first time Paul went here was not that good, because of different reasons. But this time, Pauls mind is free, and he is not expecting anything from the time here. Maybe this is the key of happiness: Do not expect anything, so you can not get disappointed. Everything you get in contrary to your expectations is a surprise. Kiel sucks, my friends. But it’s ok, it is a timeout for everything that matters. Like going into an abbey. Running away will not solve any problems, but it can make things easier.

So let’s talk about our favourite topic today, the love! At school there is a pool table. As Paul promenaded on the table, he thought about how love is working and if there are similarities to this game.

There are a lot of things that can have an influence on what will happen… in billiard, you can foresee the consequences of your actions, if you are an expert. Paul is neither an expert in billiards nor in love. But he thinks there aren’t any experts on this field.

In billiard, you are not allowed to hit the ball of interest directly. You always have to play the white one. Maybe that’s about the distance you always should keep, for the other person and for yourself.

You are not allowed to play the black one, until the end of the game. Maybe that’s about patience and not to rush.

There is a number 7 and a number 13. Can you choose the right or the wrong one, ore is everything “fate”? At least you should learn from your mistakes. Paul tries not to do the same mistakes a second time. But he also thinks everything is determined since the birth of the universe. But in the end it is your own decision and your responsibility, and you can not turn back time.

A happy Saint Valentine’s Day to everyone who believes in the courage of humans … and robots.